CNN’s reporting of science issues is admittedly not the best around, but a story on their website this morning looks like it was written by a fifth grader.
First of all, the headline is absurd. “Science figures out”? Really? How about something like “researchers determine”?
“cats display a mastery of physical dynamics that leaves their whiskers, chin and the counter top free of liquid” (emphasis mine)
Yes, clearly cats have evolved to keep furniture dry. Ain’t nature amazing?
“Researchers spent hours watching a feline consume liquids…and watched YouTube videos of big cats drinking.”
Wow, these scientists must be really professional if they spent hours doing their research before publishing a paper in Science. No wonder they keep rejecting my papers. Actually, I have to give CNN some credit- this might be the fewest words ever used to make serious research seem like a middle school science fair project.
“Using complicated formulas, the four-member team… came up with their findings,”
I need to get me some of those complicated formulas. They make you sound so science-y.
“Here’s how a house cat… personifies daintiness while drinking.”
Are you serious right now?
“[the lead scientist] got the idea for the study after watching his cat Cutta Cutta lap milk….Asked whether Cutta Cutta is enjoying the celebrity from the release of the study, Stocker told CNN, ‘I’m not sure he realizes it.'”
That’s it. I give up.