The Growing Consensus of Global Draining

Since my initial post of the new phenomenon of Global Draining, there has been an outpouring of support and a trickle of criticism (mostly stemming from hydrologists in the pockets of Big Flood Insurance). Dr. M of Deep Sea News kicked it of with an advanced mathematical model of the effects of Global Draining. Micheal Bok from the blog, Arthropoda, chimed in with his personal observation of Global Draining. Jeff Ives has been tweeting his thoughts on the big drain over the last month @thejives.

But my detractors have raised valid criticisms. Primarily that my original study covered too short a time frame and was biased to only a small period of the tidal cycle. To remedy these concerns, I have conducted a new study, tracking the draining of the sea over an 8 days period, by measuring the maximum high tide of each day. The results are shocking.

Certainly the rate is much less severe than originally reported but that’s a decline of 1.2 feet over 8 days! Two years from now the ocean will only reach the continental shelf in North Carolina. Coastal cities will be hundreds of miles from the seas. Fisheries will collapse! Beach houses will be abandoned! Sea turtles will be confused! Sandbar sharks won’t have any sandbars!

Global Draining deniers are deluding themselves! Doom!

~Southern Fried Scientist

March 21, 2010 • 12:00 am