730 words • 3~5 min read

The most shocking, insightful ocean conservation solutions, as presented by a poorly-built Twitter bot.

We made a bot. It’s not a very good bot but it does prognosticate on novel ocean conservation solutions. @OceanCon_Bot has been running for almost a month and it’s produced some real gems. Solid, salt-of-the-earth, diamond-in-the-rough, gabbro-in-your-lab, bro, solutions. And these are among my favorites.

We definitely need to stop presenting those condescending academics, but why so down on transparency, @OceanCon_Bot?

Catalyze lionfish and address Caribbean extinction? I guess you can’t really do both.

Ok, it’s possible we created an evil ocean bot.

I am 100% in favor of restricting at-risk blogs.

Wait, this one is… almost good advice.

ConBot has issues with fin bans:

Arthropod venture capital!

Lionfish will no be zoned!

I’m all for reinvigorating exploration.

I mean, I guess we shouldn’t be reinforcing the liquidation of turtle excluder devices but inclusive alliances sound good. Talk to you parents.

Go home ConBot, you’re tanked.

Bonus Round! In which our Twitter bot really, really hates Sperm Whales.

Maybe it’s been DMing with @MobyDickatSea?


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Marine science and conservation. Deep-sea ecology. Population genetics. Underwater robots. Open-source instrumentation. The deep sea is Earth's last great wilderness.


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