Chordata Dermata Dentata Regatta

Ancient sharks, not only sub-par, but also pretty gross

Posted on by Andrew David Thaler

If you’re still unconvinced by previous meditations into the sub-par-ody of sharks, consider this study, reported over at Laelaps:

The simplest explanation was that the shark (or sharks) which left the marks had been intentionally trying to eat the feces. “From the curvature of the toothmarks and their positions on the specimens,” Godfrey and Smith write, “we reason that the majority of the fecal masses were in the sharks’ mouths.”

via Laelaps

Yup, David’s legendary ancient sharks ate poo.

~Southern Fried Scientist

Godfrey, S., & Smith, J. (2010). Shark-bitten vertebrate coprolites from the Miocene of Maryland Naturwissenschaften DOI: 10.1007/s00114-010-0659-x

*The preceding post has absolutely nothing to do with shark conservation.

10 things I hate about sharks

Posted on by Andrew David Thaler

I believe I can fly! Fossil Inioppterygii - Flying Shark

  1. Although vertebrates, sharks have cartilaginous skeletons. Why can’t they make up their minds?
  2. Sharks don’t fly anymore. Seriously, there used to be flying sharks. Flying Sharks. You can’t make this stuff up.
  3. Shark fins have no flavor. None. I mean what’s the point?
  4. Dermatologists get confused. Teeth for skin? What’s up with that?
  5. Sharks aren’t mollusks. Enough said.
  6. “Shark Tale” was an awful movie.
  7. Sharks almost never attack people. What are they waiting for?
  8. Sharks are terrible drivers.
  9. Jaws 2, The Last Jaws, Jaws 3-D, Jaws 4: The Revenge, Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws.
  10. Males have two penises. Each.

~Southern Fried Scientist

*The preceding post has absolutely nothing to do with shark conservation.

Sharks are sub-par, at best

Posted on by Andrew David Thaler

In honor of the world premier of David Shiffman’s first major motion picture, “Four things everyone needs to know about sharks,” we are proud to repost our original response to the article, “Sharks are sub-par, at best.” Enjoy!

For too long have I sat idly by as my co-blogger has waxed poetic on the glories of sharks. How great they are as predators, how perfectly they’ve evolved. They’re ancient, pre-historic, haven’t changed in millions of years. They’re the ultimate predator, and champion in the ocean. Unchallenged, unmatched, awesome. A wonder of evolution.

It’s time to clear up some of those -other- myths about sharks.

The fearsome whorl-toothed shark

The fearsome whorl-toothed shark

1. Sharks are ancient creatures that have lived unchanged for millions of years.

While technically true that sub-class Elasmobranchii has been around for hundreds of millions of years, modern sharks are, well, modern. They’ve been evolving for exactly as much time as just about everything else currently alive. And they are far from unchanged. Modern sharks, though they may resemble some older models (just like modern lemurs resemble Ida), are much different beasts then their Silurian cousins. Ancient sharks occured in a diversity of forms, back when they actually dominated the ocean. These modern sharks are just the scruffy leftovers. Read More