mermaids

Breaching Blue Chapter 2: Sisters of the Reef

Posted on by Andrew Thaler

breakingblueSo, after thinking about it for the last 24 hours, I’ve decided to release the a chapter of Breaching Blue every day this week. Enjoy. And, if you don’t enjoy, blame Shiffman.

Tornus examined her new home. She had claimed the highest vantage, the last cavern below the sunbreak, so she could watch her sisters moving across the reef. The mountainous coral atoll continued, transecting the sunbreak and climbing into the illuminated ocean. She could see traces of even more caverns extending towards the surface, caverns that opened into the sunlit waters. She felt dizzy, staring up at the radiant corals above. Her eyes prefered the darkness. The reef offered protection, but only so much. The darkness, where she could sense danger as a wave through her body, where her massive eyes could see what others could not,  where she could darken the pigments of her skin until she vanished into the abyssal backdrop, those offered her the greater protection. The fiercest hunters–blackfish, pilot whales, and beast much larger–waited beyond the sunbreak.

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Breaching Blue: Because Mermaids are the new Vampires.

Posted on by Andrew Thaler

breakingblueOriginally posted here: Attack of the paranormal mermaid romance novel: Why you should never, ever lose a bet to David Shiffman, the mermaid novel has taken some surprising turns in the last few months. I recognition, I’ve decided to repost the significantly revised first chapter to entertain. Happy Labor Day, US readers!

They drifted, mindlessly, in an eternal, ocean-spanning arc, bare particles of life, unassuming among the myriad. They drifted, wordlessly, no mouths to speak nor eyes to see. No hands to grasp, not that there was anything to grasp in the great circling gyre. They drifted, aimlessly, their purpose obscured by the haze of their own perception, brains unformed, uninformed ganglia pressing against a translucent carapace. They drifted, ruthlessly, the indomitable walls of baleen sheets, the brutal rasp of gill rakers, the insatiable grasp of dangling tentacles, winnowing their numbers. They drifted, together, a cohort growing stronger even as their siblings fell to the inevitable fate of prey among the flotsam. They drifted until they could drift no more, until their bodies, no longer mindless particles, but tiny facsimiles of their future selves, could challenge the current, assert their dominance over the drift.

No longer drifting, they sought refuge.

***

The reef was old. It rose from the seamount, a honeycomb of chambers stacked one on top of the other. They swam around the perimeter, cautiously. The Ocean was a dangerous place. Who knew what strange predators lurked inside the labyrinthine palace? Janthina went first. She squeezed through a small opening, close to the sea floor. The once generous entrance was overgrown with corals, generation stacked upon generation, each polyp building upon the skeletal remains of its ancestors. Whatever creatures carved this chamber, they abandoned it long ago.

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Attack of the paranormal mermaid romance novel: Why you should never, ever lose a bet to David Shiffman

Posted on by Andrew Thaler

breakingblueTake heed, all those who would dare to gamble against David Shiffman. You will fail.

It seemed innocent enough. I was in the middle of a job search, paying the bills with consulting, freelance work, and science writing while pursuing the next academic appointment. Finally having a bit of time, I wrote a science fiction novel, something I’ve always wanted to do. Sometime last summer, our resident shark fanatic made a dangerous suggestion. “Why don’t you just cash in on the mermaid craze?” “Fine,” I said, “if I don’t land a job by 2014, I’ll write a marine science-inspired paranormal mermaid romance novel.”

It’s 2014. This is Breaching Blue.

Below, for your enjoyment, is the first chapter.

If you’re interested in my other writings, you can check out Fleet and Prepared on Amazon or read my short story, The Lucky Ones, at Nature. And a huge shout-out to Mark Gibson, who writes the excellent marine science blog, Breaching the Blue, and was kind enough to let me use the inadvertently parallel name. For obvious reasons, this is not the final draft.

Chapter 1: Sisters of the Reef

The reef was old. It rose out of the seamount, a honeycomb of chambers piled one on top of the other; each chamber perfectly sized for Janthia and her sisters. This reef was made for them.

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The great #Mermaids Storify

Posted on by David Shiffman

davesquare

This week, Animal Planet aired “Mermaids: The New Evidence”  the second fake documentary in their series about mermaids.  After complaining about the ridiculous show and the associated devastating effects on science literacy*, we decided to watch the re-air together and live-tweet it. The goal was to get real scientific information into the twitter conversation associated with the show. The Storify of our contributions to the discussion is below.

* Lots of people think that the admittedly fake documentary is real. Search the twitter hashtag #Mermaids and you’ll see literally hundreds of examples of this. These are not included in the Storify in the interest of not being cruel to strangers.

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Mock the Doc: Watch both fake Mermaids documentaries tonight and mock them on twitter with us!

Posted on by David Shiffman

davesquare

Pictured: Not real. Drawn by Vilhelm Pedersen, via WikiMedia Commons

Pictured: Not real. Drawn by Vilhelm Pedersen, via WikiMedia Commons

Tonight from 8-11 P.M. EST, Animal Planet is re-airing both fake mermaid documentaries, “Mermaids: The Body Found” and “Mermaids: the New Evidence”. We’re going to watch them. We’re going to live-tweet our thoughts using the show’s existing hashtag, #Mermaids. We’re going to systematically point out everything factually incorrect about mermaids (or anything having to do with the ocean) that they say, and generally mock the fake documentaries mercilessly. It’s going to be a good time, and you should participate. I’ll Storify my favorite contributions.

Mermaids: The New Evidence is a Fake Documentary

Posted on by Andrew Thaler

Last year, David and several other marine science bloggers debunked Animal Planet’s amazingly fraudulent mermaid foc-u-mentary (yes, I’m coining that term for fake documentaries that show absolute disdain for their audience. It’s not satire. It’s not parody. It’s a giant middle finger to the public). No need to retread old ground–read the original coverage:

In case you missed them (and who could blame you if you did), here are screen captures of the disclaimers briefly shown at the end of Mermaids: The New Evidence stating that the show is a work of fiction.

mermaids 1

 

mermaids 2

 

UPDATE: Here are three articles about real marine animals that are significantly more awesome than fake mermaids.

Interested in some good ocean science fiction? Why not check out Fleet: The Complete Collection (also in paperback)!

Mermaids do not exist, and five other important things people should, but do not, know about the ocean

Posted on by David Shiffman

Mermaids depicted by a Russian folk artist. Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons via New York Public Library

Last week, Animal Planet aired a fictional mockumentary about mermaids. From an educational perspective, it was a disaster that was rightfully described as “the rotting carcass of science television” by Brian Switek. As Dr. M on Deep Sea News pointed out, one of the troubling results of this TV special was the discovery that some people believe that mermaids are real.

When I pointed out on Facebook and twitter that mermaids do not exist and that I hoped none of my friends believe otherwise, it inspired a long and interesting discussion. Someone asked why it matters if people believe in mermaids, as they felt that a sense of whimsy among the public is a good thing. Someone pointed out that scientists are discovering amazing new species all the time. More than a few people said “anything is possible.”

Sure, scientists discover new species all the time, but while finding a new species of monkey, orchid, or jellyfish can be interesting, it is not proof that “anything is possible” and it is not the same thing as finding a species of talking, thinking humanoids with fish tails on the lower half of their bodies.  There’s a big and important difference between enjoying fantasy novels and wishing that certain fantastical creatures exist (i.e. having a sense of whimsy) and genuinely believing that those creatures really do exist.

These people don’t believe that in the vast and unexplored ocean, there may be some bizarre undiscovered species still out there. They believe that talking, thinking humanoids with fish tails on the lower half of their bodies exist and are acknowledged as existing by the scientific community. This displays a troubling lack of awareness of reality that likely is not limited to a belief in mermaids. For the benefit of those who have paid so little attention to what’s going on in the real world that they believe mermaids exist, here are five other things that you should, but likely do not, know about the oceans.

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Our favorite sea monsters – Mermaids (#5)

Posted on by Amy Freitag

Mermaids occur in legends from cultures around the world and vary in shape, origin, and intent. From the beautiful temptress on the cliffs luring boats onto dangerous shoals to peaceful coexisting aquatic humans, mermaids have made a place for themselves in history. The basics of merfolk is that they are neither human nor fish but some sort of mammal that includes elements of both. They are musically talented and astoundingly beautiful.

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