Skip to content

Southern Fried Science

Over 15 years of ocean science and conservation online

  • Home
  • About SFS
  • Authors
  • Support SFS

The Growing Consensus of Global Draining

Posted on March 21, 2010March 20, 2010 By Andrew Thaler 13 Comments on The Growing Consensus of Global Draining
Science

Since my initial post of the new phenomenon of Global Draining, there has been an outpouring of support and a trickle of criticism (mostly stemming from hydrologists in the pockets of Big Flood Insurance). Dr. M of Deep Sea News kicked it of with an advanced mathematical model of the effects of Global Draining. Micheal Bok from the blog, Arthropoda, chimed in with his personal observation of Global Draining. Jeff Ives has been tweeting his thoughts on the big drain over the last month @thejives.

But my detractors have raised valid criticisms. Primarily that my original study covered too short a time frame and was biased to only a small period of the tidal cycle. To remedy these concerns, I have conducted a new study, tracking the draining of the sea over an 8 days period, by measuring the maximum high tide of each day. The results are shocking.

Certainly the rate is much less severe than originally reported but that’s a decline of 1.2 feet over 8 days! Two years from now the ocean will only reach the continental shelf in North Carolina. Coastal cities will be hundreds of miles from the seas. Fisheries will collapse! Beach houses will be abandoned! Sea turtles will be confused! Sandbar sharks won’t have any sandbars!

Global Draining deniers are deluding themselves! Doom!

~Southern Fried Scientist

Share this:

  • Click to share on Bluesky (Opens in new window) Bluesky
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Threads (Opens in new window) Threads
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp
  • Click to share on Mastodon (Opens in new window) Mastodon

Related

Tags: Global Draining

Post navigation

❮ Previous Post: 365 Days of Darwin: March 21, 2010
Next Post: 365 Days of Darwin: March 22, 2010 ❯

You may also like

Science
North Carolina’s attempted ban on sea level rise is a boon for Global Draining researchers
May 31, 2012
Science
Global Draining
February 17, 2010
Science
More proof of Global Draining
February 18, 2010

13 thoughts on “The Growing Consensus of Global Draining”

  1. WhySharksMatter says:
    March 21, 2010 at 12:35 am

    Sandbar sharks can adapt to not having sandbars. After all, they are nature’s perfect predators. 😉

    (I’m hesitant to use a winky face since I’m not twelve, but it’s 2:00 a.m. and I can’t think of another way to indicate that this comment is meant in jest. I’m open to suggestions).

  2. WhySharksMatter says:
    March 21, 2010 at 12:44 am

    I hear that if you use a certain statistical trick, you can hide the decline in tidal height.

  3. Bob O'H says:
    March 21, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    I received my PhD from the UEA, so I know all about these tricks. Email me for details – that way no one will ever know what we did.

  4. Jives says:
    March 21, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Your use of charts disarms and confuses me.

    I can only hope my blind adherence to #globalflooding somehow overcomes your “evidence.”

  5. Southern Fried Scientist says:
    March 21, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Global Flooding is myth perpetrated by the theocra-fascist-communist-socialist Illuminati behind Big Flood Insurance.

    Wake up sheeple!

  6. WhySharksMatter says:
    March 21, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    There is no big flood insurance cabal.

  7. Glendon Mellow says:
    March 22, 2010 at 5:24 am

    It’s NOT!!!!1! caused by a hole in the ocean.

    The GOVERNMENT is stealing the WATER to purify the 20% of FRESH water that exists in SEA WATER. They will sell half of it BACK to the American people at exorbitant prices – you will have **NO*** choice, you will pay it, and they are SAVING THE REST to drink on the way to an extra-solar planet.

    The missing WATER is why NASA is not making shuttles. Plain as DAY.

  8. WhySharksMatter says:
    March 22, 2010 at 10:39 am

    The only way I can reasonably see myself signing on to this conspiracy theory is if aliens are somehow involved. I’m very selective about my conspiracy theories.

  9. Southern Fried Scientist says:
    March 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

    Don’t be ridiculous.

  10. Ben says:
    March 22, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    This is a crock; as a deep sea biologist you’re just in this to cash in on the grants that go to searching for the “hole” at the bottom of the ocean. Besides, if you really believed this was happening, wouldn’t you already own property on the ocean floor?

    Therefore, since you, the public face of this scientific controversy have been shown to potentially have a conflict of interest, and further, have failed some ridiculous litmus test that uninformed me just made up, the whole body of evidence supporting your claim (peer-reviewed though it might be) is thoroughly debunked!

  11. Southern Fried Scientist says:
    March 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Just because I uniquely positioned to profit from Global Draining doesn’t mean I have a conflict of interest. Open your eyes and see beyond the lies of Big Flood Insurance.

  12. WhySharksMatter says:
    March 23, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Big Flood Insurance employs thousands of hard-working Americans, who will be put out of work by your so-called “science”. Marxism, I say! Lies! LIES!!!

  13. Southern Fried Scientist says:
    March 23, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Sandbaggers need to compete in the free market just like every one else. What we need is a public option that doesn’t discriminate against houses in the pre-existing flood plain.

Comments are closed.

Recent Popular Posts

What Ocean Ramsey does is not shark science or conservation: some brief thoughts on "the Shark Whisperer" documentaryWhat Ocean Ramsey does is not shark science or conservation: some brief thoughts on "the Shark Whisperer" documentaryJuly 2, 2025David Shiffman
Why would a serious scientist agree to participate in a nonsense Shark Week show?Why would a serious scientist agree to participate in a nonsense Shark Week show?July 15, 2025David Shiffman
Marine Biology Career AdviceMarine Biology Career AdviceMay 30, 2025David Shiffman
What is a Sand Shark?What is a Sand Shark?November 12, 2017Chuck Bangley
Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine is a fake documentaryShark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine is a fake documentaryAugust 10, 2014Michelle Jewell
Critically Endangered sawfish are spinning in circles until they die. What the heck is going on?Critically Endangered sawfish are spinning in circles until they die. What the heck is going on?May 29, 2024David Shiffman
What can the funniest shark memes on the internetz teach us about ocean science and conservation?What can the funniest shark memes on the internetz teach us about ocean science and conservation?November 8, 2013David Shiffman
Considering writing a popular science book? Here's my adviceConsidering writing a popular science book? Here's my adviceJuly 7, 2025David Shiffman
A quick and dirty guide to making custom feeds on BlueskyA quick and dirty guide to making custom feeds on BlueskyFebruary 7, 2024Andrew Thaler
Here's what I teach my students about finding jobs in marine biology and conservationHere's what I teach my students about finding jobs in marine biology and conservationApril 10, 2024David Shiffman
Subscribe to our RSS Feed for updates whenever new articles are published.

We recommend Feedly for RSS management. It's like Google Reader, except it still exists.

Southern Fried Science

  • Home
  • About SFS
  • Authors
  • Support SFS


If you enjoy Southern Fried Science, consider contributing to our Patreon campaign.

Copyright © 2025 Southern Fried Science.

Theme: Oceanly Premium by ScriptsTown