MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: The Biggest Manu Splash Off in French History — and also the First Manu Splash off in French History (do not fact check this) — will crash into the waves off Nice, France at 8:00 AM on Thursday, 12 June 2025 at a location to be determined near CoCo Beach.
Do you have the depth-defying skills to send waves rippling across the sea? Can you make a splash so epic that even Poseidon himself gives a standing ovation?
The “Pop a Manu for Ocean Action” Championship seeks male and female competitors thirsting to be named the “UNOC 3 Manu Champ 2025.” The winners in each category will receive an exclusive t-shirt designed by Angelo Villagomez using all of his skills in Microsoft Paint.
But, wait? What is a manu you ask? And how exactly do you “pop” one? Here’s an explainer video:
So shore up courage as deep as the Mariana Trench, get set to drench, and bring the kind of splash that will sink the competition.
Will you be the krill-est in the contest? Or will you just flounder in the background? Don’t let this opportunity slip-stream through your fingers! Go grab your togs and your jandals, buoy up your confidence, and take that leap of faith—the ocean is waiting, and it’s ready for the splash of a lifetime!
And yes, this is really happening. And no, this is not an official side event or competition connecting to the UN Ocean Conference. The winners will be decided by consensus of those gathered in competition and fellowship. And yes, the shirts are real. There can only be one UNOC 3 Manu Champ (unless we make more shirts).