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Florida Senate fails basic biology, accidentally outlaws sex.

Question: If your elected officials fail basic taxonomy, promote anti-science curriculum, and consistently attempt to undermine the fundamental underpinning of all biology, what happens when they start trying to legislate from this flawed view of reality?

The answer is this poorly-worded miasma of a law recently passed in Florida, which presumably was designed to prevent bestiality and promote animal welfare, but which has actually made it illegal, effective October 1, 2011, for anyone to have sex in Florida.

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

source

I have constructed this helpful little graphic for the Florida Legislature to examine:

So if you’re living in Florida on October 1, 2011 and would like to have sexual intercourse with a consenting adult, please check with your veterinarian or local livestock breeder first to make sure you abide by  ”accepted animal husbandry practices, conformation judging practices, or accepted veterinary medical practices.”

[Readers may be interested in a slightly less humorous but technically correct interpretation of the new law. ~Ed.]

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59 comments to Florida Senate fails basic biology, accidentally outlaws sex.

  • Donna Linton

    Oh my God, You mean my husband and I have to call the vet now?! ROFLMAO

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 50 Thumb down 4

  • well Kendrick Meek should be getting a lot of action then… I’m pretty sure he’s a mineral of some kind.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 28 Thumb down 11

  • You know, every once in a while you guys come up with something that just stops traffic….this is one of them.

    Re-blogged and sent to the major media.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 3

  • Buzzkillington III

    “animal” is defined elsewhere with chapter 828 to exclude humans.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 35 Thumb down 17

    • Ethel

      There is more than one law in the USA that needs to be changed. How old is that law and has it ever been tested?

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 8

  • Guy Incognito

    828.02 Definitions.–In this chapter, and in every law of the state relating to or in any way affecting animals, the word “animal” shall be held to include every living dumb creature; the words “torture,” “torment,” and “cruelty” shall be held to include every act, omission, or neglect whereby unnecessary or unjustifiable pain or suffering is caused, except when done in the interest of medical science, permitted, or allowed to continue when there is