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Over 15 years of ocean science and conservation online

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small boy holding Miss Abyss Dumbo Octopus
Please Help This Little Dumbo Octopus Travel Across America
August 3, 2026
Isn’t ironic, don’t you think: dismantling the Ocean Observatories Initiative on World Oceans Day
June 9, 2026
My Journey Into Researching Historical Erasure on Public Lands
July 31, 2026
The next OpenCTD is here!
June 22, 2026
humpback whale in Antarctica
The evolution of the International Whaling Commission – from  whaling quotas to whale conservation
June 10, 2026
“Why Sustainable Seafood Matters” is now available for preorder! Here’s what it’s about, and why I decided to write it.
June 8, 2026

Remote Protests are visually impressive, but not as effective as public comments

Posted on January 7, 2016January 2, 2016 By David Shiffman
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On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Yesterday, tens of thousands of people’s avatars teleported into the lobby of the National Marine Fisheries Service headquarters in Plaza. Most avatars wore a temporary skin that made them appear to be fish, marine mammals, sea turtles, or sharks. Almost all of them of them carried signs protesting the newly-announced shark fishing quota , which greatly increases total allowable catch for scalloped hammerhead sharks. This was the latest remote protest effort organized by the new, but undeniably augemented reality- and media-savvy, Ocean Conservation Solutions , which also designed all of the custom avatar skins.

Last summer, I predicted that this change to the quota would come. There’s no doubt that scalloped hammerhead sharks have greatly increased in population in the decades since they became the first shark species listed on the U.S. Endangered Species Act (as regular readers now, there are now 18 shark species and 43 batoid species on listed under the ESA). Despite concerns raised by conservationists (including myself), it seems that NMFS’ plan to allow a low-level of fisheries exploitation for hammerheads did indeed allow for overfished populations to rebuild. The newly reauthorized Magnuson-Stevens Fisheries Conservation Act, just like every previous iteration, requires that NMFS allow fisheries for any species whose populations can support them.

Read More “Remote Protests are visually impressive, but not as effective as public comments” »

Ocean Conservation Priorities for 2041

Posted on January 7, 2016January 2, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
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On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Another year, another set of ocean conservation priorities. As with the last 5 years, there will be some new ones, and some repeats. The biggest issues shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, plastics have been an issue forever and global norming is rapidly taking over the broader ocean conversation. For a refresher, check out our priorities for 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, and 2040.

Sea Level Rise Induced Habitat Loss: This has been a big one on the docket the last few years. As the ocean rises many species are experiencing dramatic loss of habitat, especially sensitive coastal nursery grounds. Although we’ve known about this for a while, we haven’t even begun to quantify the extent of damage to marine populations. Salt inundation is also compromising coast terrestrial habitats, driving essential species further inland.

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How cyborgs are like old wooden ships

Posted on January 6, 2016April 26, 2018 By Andrew Thaler 1 Comment on How cyborgs are like old wooden ships
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On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


It is not an easy task to repair a historic ship, especially one that still sails. Centuries of saltwater have crept into her planks, rotting wood and rusting iron. Eventually, everything needs to be replaced, the ship that sailed 400 years ago shares no original parts with the ship that sails today under the same name, under the same flag.

Stop. Go back. Let’s talk about cannons.

In the 17th century, we decided that we could own the sea, or rather, nations decided that they could lay claim to their coastal waters. In De dominio maris (1702), Cornelius Bynkershoek proposed a 3 mile limit for territorial seas. Coastal countries began laying claims, annexing oceans as they still annex new land. Eventually, the 3 mile limit expanded outward, first to 5, than 12, then finally 200 miles, staking claims against not just a coastline, but an entire continental shelf, a nation’s Exclusive Economic Zone. Even today, some nations continue to exert and maintain extreme control over their 3 mile limit.

Why three miles? The best cannons of the era could shell a ship from 3 miles away. This provided a strategic advantage for coastal cities, who could maintain heavier artillery than a warship could carry. Three miles meant that a state could fire upon an enemy entering its territory before the vessel brought its own guns within range.

That limit is now meaningless, and indeed, was rendered obsolete within a few decades of its adoption. Technology moves faster than law. Today, we can fire upon an enemy from anywhere in the world, at any time, without warning. And yet, the 3 mile limit remains, informing shipping, fishing, diplomacy, and resource management, long after the long guns it was created to thwart have rusted away.

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Twenty Years Later, the Identity of Johnny Milkweedseed Finally Revealed

Posted on January 5, 2016January 4, 2016 By David Lang
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On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


A team of journalists from WIRED have finally cracked the case on a twenty year mystery that, by now, has become almost the creation myth of the modern, radical techno-environmentalist movement. The identity of Johnny Milkweedseed, the name given to the anonymous person or persons responsible for the great milkweed explosion of 2021, was revealed to be Leslie Johnson of DuBuque, Iowa, now deceased.

The journalists re-opened the search for the mysterious actor after last year’s discovery of the original lab that was used to create the hybrid milkweed disseminated by Johnson in the summer of 2020. After tests confirmed the archive of plasmids indeed contained the roundup resistant gene found in milkweed 247a, a number of journalists followed them back to their source – an overgrown farm in Dubuque. The lead turned out to be Johnson’s nephew, Mark Lee, who had kept the garage biolab located in the back barn of the property in nearly perfect condition since his aunt’s passing in 2036. By then, she had moved onto more modern equipment that she was using to create apple and strawberry varieties for her farm, but the lab still housed a number of the classic devices Johnson used for that initial prototyping of milkweed 247a: petri dishes to grow bacteria, micropipettes for implantation, a huge archive of plasmids, as well as the DNA synthesizer that she used, which, as far as Lee knew, was “probably a second-hand machine she found on eBay.”  

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Ocean Kickstarter of the Month: Control ocean plastic with BioBooms

Posted on January 4, 2016January 4, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
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On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


“Two thirds of “collected” ocean plastic end up back in the ocean. Why scoop it when microbes can poop it?”

BioBooms: Eat the plastic out of our oceans, one trawl at a time.

broken

We’ve seen nearly 3 decades of ill-conceived ocean cleanup projects, and we’re still dealing with many of the same issues that arose when the Great Pacific Garbage Patch was first discovered. Adding insult to injury, a recent study revealed that almost 70% of all garbage collected during these ocean cleanup operation has ended up back in the ocean thanks to poor downstream control and a limited understanding of the plastic lifecycle on the part of these programs. Indeed, without longitudinal support, these plastic sucking boondoggles tend to be all flash and no pan. The point-source operations, like Waterwheel Global, have fared much better, but still do nothing for the plastic that is already out there. 

BioBooms has the potential to change that. Using a proprietary plastic consuming microbe, the BioBooms team hopes to break down ocean plastic in situ, converting photodegraded plastics into fuel that will then be used to power their ships.

Read More “Ocean Kickstarter of the Month: Control ocean plastic with BioBooms” »

Southern Fried Server Error: Please Stand By

Posted on January 4, 2016January 4, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
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Something strange is happening at Southern Fried Science. Over the weekend, the Southern Fried Servers experienced a bizarre and unaccountable server error. Our regularly scheduled content was apparently and inexplicably replaced by what appears to be authentic articles from Southern Fried Science, circa 2041. While it warms my heart to know that our little blog … Read More “Southern Fried Server Error: Please Stand By” »

Still time to get your Oceanography for Everyone microsatellite onto the next payload!

Posted on January 3, 2016January 3, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future … Read More “Still time to get your Oceanography for Everyone microsatellite onto the next payload!” »

Site-wide Notice

Posted on January 2, 2016February 1, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future … Read More “Site-wide Notice” »

A Mega Apology for Megalodon

Posted on January 2, 2016January 2, 2016 By Andrew Thaler 3 Comments on A Mega Apology for Megalodon
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


brokenLast April I did something dumb. As longtime readers no doubt know, in the last few years the April Fools pranks between me and David Shiffman have gotten… excessive. After he had my favorite dog cloned a dozen times (thanks for that, buddy, they’re all doing great), I had to step up my game. Well, it looks like all these years of continuously one-upping each other, we have finally found the upper limit.

David has been railing against the non-existence of Megalodon for decades. It is the myth that will not die. Ages ago, I naively thought after Shark Week 2015 and our paper, we would finally be done with the Megalodon Conspiracy, but, unlike its namesake, the legend persists.

So, early last year I used CRISPR-CRASS to do something I’ve always wanted to try. With the help of some students, who will remain unnamed, I de-extincted Carcharocles megalodon and quietly deposited it in one of his unused behavioral test tanks. He returned from the field to discover that, finally, the monster shark lives.

brokenWe thought it was hilarious. A couple months later, I wrote about the process of garage de-extinction for Mouthfeedr (seriously, how cool is it that you can bring a species back from oblivion with the tools available in a modestly well-equipped bio-shack?).

Read More “A Mega Apology for Megalodon” »

Founder effects in a deep-sea invasive: Easter Limpets

Posted on January 1, 2016January 2, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Global Norming marches into the deep sea. We’ve been watching with concern the gradual shift towards the normalization of species distribution due to the widespread introduction of marine invasives. Thanks to a general lack human habitation on the seafloor, the deep sea has remained largely exempt from this phenomenon. It takes a lot of technanthropic migration to normalize an ecosystem.

In the past, scientists have observed small numbers of deep-sea species transported into new biogeographic regions on the backs of research submersibles and industrial equipment, hinting at the potential for deep-sea invasion. Thankfully proactive mitigation measures have mostly prevented large scale deep-sea invasions. Range expansion due to climate change is generally considered to be the greater threat to deep-sea ecosystem stability.

In a recent paper, Plough and friends (2040) identify a large-scale species invasion at hydrothermal vents in the Caribbean. Lepetodrilus johnsonii, a limpet species common at hydrothermal vents around the equatorial extent of the East Pacific Rise have established themselves at vent fields around the Mid-Cayman Spreading Center, just south of the Cayman Islands. As the Pacific and Caribbean are separated by continents, it is unlikely that this invasion happened without human assistance.

Using next-generation Yotta+ environmental holome sequencing, Plough and friends were able to trace the invasion to a relatively small founder population, at most 23 individuals, which we’re likely transported sometime in the last 6 years.

Read More “Founder effects in a deep-sea invasive: Easter Limpets” »

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