Skip to content

Southern Fried Science

Over 15 years of ocean science and conservation online

  • Home
  • About SFS
  • Authors
  • Support SFS

Author: Andrew Thaler

Marine science and conservation. Deep-sea ecology. Population genetics. Underwater robots. Open-source instrumentation. The deep sea is Earth's last great wilderness.

The Cyborg Crisis: new digital virus is fatal to augmented humans

Posted on January 24, 2016January 18, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


What began as a relatively benign, though eminently annoying cybernetic virus has evolved into a global catastrophe. Alpha Cloner was just the beginning of a series of increasingly malevolent molecular vectors. Once the code was out, creatives got to work, hacking together more clever, more wicked software packets. The flood gates were open.

Even the barrage of behavior modifying bugs was a distraction. Whoever coded Zero Cloner knew that there would be hundreds of hackers altering their code. They were counting on it.

The genius of Alpha Cloner was not that it tricked augmented humans into queuing up at a food truck. The genius of Alpha Cloner was that the ad hoc fix was for augments to shut off their internal geolocators. This practically guaranteed that the Center for Disease Control and Digital Security would be incapable of tracking the virus as beyond the initial outbreak or document the spread of the Zero Cloner base code–which we now know acts as a critical architecture for further infection. As, one by one, cyborgs opted out of the National Tracking Matrix, the origin and extent of the infection was obscured. 

Read More “The Cyborg Crisis: new digital virus is fatal to augmented humans” »

Gliding on starlight: Celestial Navigation for Martian Explorers

Posted on January 23, 2016January 15, 2016 By Andrew Thaler 1 Comment on Gliding on starlight: Celestial Navigation for Martian Explorers
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Thousands of years ago, merchants on the Arabian Peninsula would cross vast, featureless desert as they traveled from settlement to settlement, selling their goods. They had no roads, no maps, no GPS, yet still they managed to find their mark. They accomplished this tremendous feat of navigation with the help of the stars and a tiny instrument called a kamal.

The kamal was a piece of wood, bone, or ivory, with a piece of string threaded through it at a precise point and measured out to a precise distance. By sighting the kamal against the horizon and the north star, these merchants could maintain a constant latitude as they marchd across the desert, and find their way home. For millennia, this basic principal–that the celestial pole could, with the right instrument, reveal latitude–was the driving force for exploration, trade, and travel. Polynesian sailors used latitude hooks to mark their journey. Portuguese explorers used quadrants to find their way across the Atlantic and around Africa. The age of discovery was already entering its twilight by the time we had figured out longitude–the great scientific puzzle of an generation. For most, simply knowing latitude and cardinal direction was enough to circle the world and return home.

The Martian Circumtropical Expedition kicks off net month, with teams from 17 nations racing to see who will be first to circumnavigate the red planet. Their sandgliders will be outfitted with the most sophisticated expedition gear that their sponsors can afford, costing, at the low end, hundreds of millions of dollars. The budget for China’s team surpasses the GDP of most countries. These will be the best outfitted and most connected explorers in history.

What happens if things go wrong?

Read More “Gliding on starlight: Celestial Navigation for Martian Explorers” »

Our Gerrymandered Ocean

Posted on January 22, 2016January 12, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Three weeks ago, an armed, irritable, and ill-prepared posse of privateers laid claim to the Deepwater Horizon National Marine Sanctuary in the Gulf of Mexico. Their demands–access to the infamous 30-year-old borehole, as well as new fishing quotas and deregulation of the GoMex Tuna Mariculture industry–are as bizarre as they are indefensible. Gulf oil production has slowed to a crawl. Even if the notorious Macondo Deep were reopened, an act that geologist from within the offshore oil and natural gas industry admit would be catastrophic, there would still be no demand for their crude.

Deregulating tuna mariculture would also be an industry disaster, as federal regulations on the import of foreign tuna is the only thing keeping their sea pens afloat. And you can’t raise quotas on fish that no longer exist.

These privateers are just the latest in the oft-parodied march of Entitlement Militias–cranky young men with few marketable skills who, unable to succeed in the free market, demand vast, and vastly disproportionate, government handouts, paradoxically under an anti-government or anti-federalist banner. Often, they take federal property by force (more accurately the illusion of force, as, historically, they have, to a man (and it’s always men) folded like paper dolls at the first hint of confrontation).

Read More “Our Gerrymandered Ocean” »

E-waste and the promise of Persistent Technology

Posted on January 21, 2016January 10, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


The Persistent Technology revolution was a promise unfulfilled.

Technology was liberation. It provided access to education. It connected the world. It created systems that freed us from the harshest injustices in life. That, at least, was the promise uttered by breathless technocrats as they pocketed unimaginable profits from glorified toys for the rich and built ever-widening gaps between those who have, and those who have nothing.

The microprocessor was the equalizer. When our computers, cars, toasters, and power tools were all controlled by by the same underlying architecture, hardware becomes trivial. Upgrade the operating system and your tablet becomes an entirely new device. Continuously improving software would save us from the scourge of electronic waste–the piles of obsolete circuitry slowly leaching metals into the earth or releasing uncounted hydrocarbons into the air as they burn. The “cloud” would be freedom.

Companies began capitalizing on the nascent demand for “Persistent Technologies”, promising cars that would last 20 years and appliances that would outlive their owners (readers of a certain age might smugly note that that kind of longevity existed long before the consumer electronics revolution). Persistent Technology was heralded as the most important environmental innovation in half a century. People lined for weeks to be the first to receive the Forever Phone. The Tesla Infinite had a backorder of over 350,000 units. Persistent Technology would liberate the public from the expense of disposable electronics and save the world from the environmental disaster that those throw-away devices triggered. 

It was a fad.

Read More “E-waste and the promise of Persistent Technology” »

The environmental impact of biomining the deep sea.

Posted on January 20, 2016January 19, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Diversity is resilience.

Or so deep-sea mining newcomer Aronnax Environmental wants you to believe. Arronax will be the first new novel-compound biomining operation to make the dive in almost a decade. The high cost of entry and the onerous permitting process has made competition in the high seas practically non-existent for the big six.

Aronnax enters the game as the “sustainable alternative to destructive biomining”. They claim that their proprietary process is kinder to the seafloor and allows recruitment and recovery following each pass of the mining tool–which they call a swath. The machine itself is a sifter, rather than a dozer, which allows for the collection of environmental DNA while minimizing disturbance to the seafloor. Sifter technology is, in theory, designed to maximize biotic retention, protecting local biodiversity while still achieving 95% comprehensive sampling.

At least, that’s what Aronnax hopes. 

Read More “The environmental impact of biomining the deep sea.” »

Whatever happened to deep-sea mining?

Posted on January 19, 2016January 10, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


“In the depths of the ocean, there are mines of zinc, iron, silver and gold that would be quite easy to exploit”

Jules Verne, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

There really should be a rule about starting any more deep-sea mining articles with that Jules Verne quote. Something like 50% of my own articles on the topic begin with that aging line from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. There are mines of gold in the deep sea, but, as it turns out, they are not quite so easy to exploit.

Three decades ago, the deep-sea mining industry coalesced around a hydrothermal vent prospect in Papua New Guinea. At the time one of the largest known seafloor massive sulfides, its proximity to shore, as well as its location within the territorial seas of a single nation, made it the ideal spot to launch the first deep-sea mining operation. A decade later the first mining tools touched down on the seafloor.

This is not that story. The rise and fall and fall and rise and fall and rise of deep-sea mining is a tale almost a century old (and one which we have blogged about quite a bit). Like the tide itself, the industry is entirely dependent on the ebb and flow of commodities prices. When copper and gold are down, exploiting the seafloor is prohibitively expensive. When the price eventually rises, the upfront cost and long tail of mobilization means that initial profit projections are woefully obsolete by the time production begins. The Persistent Technology movement managed to handily tank the commodities market for most of the 20’s. 

Of course, while the underlying resource proved to be too risky in a volatile commodities market, the technology developed for those first mines went on to be enormously profitable in other sub-sea ventures. Biomining and Rare-Earth Element Shunting wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for these early pioneers. Nor, for that matter, would some non-exploitive industries, like deep aquaculture and thermogradient energy production.

Read More “Whatever happened to deep-sea mining?” »

Ride the Digital Slipstream: Southern Fried Server Update #3

Posted on January 18, 2016January 10, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

There is a message buried in all of this.

Here is what I know:

The infection didn’t start January 1, the code was already spreading through my servers on December 31. It entered through a security hole in Networked Blogs, the service we use to post articles to Facebook. It is likely that the invasion actually began on Facebook, but I don’t know how. Whatever else it is, the code is not spreading beyond Southern Fried Science. Not even our sister sites on the shared server have been affected. Oceanography for Everyone is safe.

It has control of the @sfriedscience twitter account, likely through WordPress. This is the inevitable consequence of a too-connected world. Our securest systems are only as strong as the weakest systems to which we connect them.

Something is happening to cyborgs in the future. I can’t shake the feeling that this is all somehow connected.

If I were me, and I am me, and I remembered a month, 25 years ago, where my blog was overwhelmed by the future, I would use the opportunity to send a message back.

Read More “Ride the Digital Slipstream: Southern Fried Server Update #3” »

Join the DIT Orbital Observatory program and print your own microsatellites

Posted on January 17, 2016January 2, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Are you ready for the next evolution of the do-it-together global monitoring movement? For the last few years we’ve been training students, citizen scientists, and legacy academics to build small, low-cost, open-source satellites. These satellites, outfitted with an array of sensors, have, after decades of development, finally reached the point where they can fulfill the gaps left by the Great Deorbiting, when most government research satellites fell–either literally, or simply into disrepair.

Multi-material 3D printing helped lead the charge, allowing users to fabricate parts, even complete micro-circuits, for nickels, using a desktop set up. These parts could be standardized and printed as a single contiguous piece, adding durability and reliability to the project. Thanks to these tools, fabricating your own personal observation satellite is now easier than ever.

Read More “Join the DIT Orbital Observatory program and print your own microsatellites” »

First DNA-based computer virus jumps the cyborg hardware barrier.

Posted on January 16, 2016January 10, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


The first fully integrated cybernetic virus would be a lot funnier if the implications weren’t so terrifying. Signs of trouble began around lunchtime Tuesday. New Yorkers with gastrophic augments noticed an abnormal rumbling in their stomachs. Within a few hours, the phenomenon was tracked to a single food truck, El Pollo Gordo, making the Manhattan rounds. Get too close and the stomach implant, designed to track calorie consumption and regulate diet at the source, would trigger the illusion of hunger.

It certainly has been a good week for the Fat Chicken. Almost a third of all Manhattanites have a gastrophic augment and hungry cyborgs are lining up around the block. El Pollo Gordo denied any knowledge. That seems likely, since food trucks don’t tend to run sophisticated biohacking labs in addition to deep-fryers. 

So what’s going on?

Read More “First DNA-based computer virus jumps the cyborg hardware barrier.” »

How bioprospecting became biomining.

Posted on January 15, 2016January 10, 2016 By Andrew Thaler
Uncategorized

On January 1, 2016, the Southern Fried Science central server began uploading blog posts apparently circa 2041. Due to a related corruption of the contemporary database, we are, at this time, unable to remove these Field Notes from the Future or prevent the uploading of additional posts. Please enjoy this glimpse into the ocean future while we attempt to rectify the situation.


Bioprospecting. One of the great buzzwords of economic conservation–the movement to assign economic value to natural systems such that we could justify their protection on a pragmatic basis. Our definitions were soft. A shark was worth $1 million to tourism. A wetland provided $12 billion in services. And, most persuasively, biodiversity retention could lead to $100 trillion in new drug discoveries. Economic conservation provided a huge, pragmatic incentive and allowed us to protect vast swaths of ocean.

The problem, of course, lies in the fact that once you hang conservation on the economic value of nature, as soon as the value of exploitation exceeds the conservation value, the system fails.

Bioprospecting was that tipping point.

We live in a post-antibiotic world. Microbes adapt to medicine almost as quickly as new drugs are discovered. A huge proportion of medical funding is now dedicated exclusively to exploration for the sole purpose of discovering new novel antibiotics, anti-microbials, and viracides that can stem the tides of Massively Resistant Vectors (often anthropomorphized as Merv by medical professionals) for a few more months. This enhanced exploration has led to an entirely new industry–Biomining.

Read More “How bioprospecting became biomining.” »

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 45 46 47 … 149 Next

Popular Posts

The story of the pride flag made from NASA imagery: Bluesky's most-liked imageThe story of the pride flag made from NASA imagery: Bluesky's most-liked imageSeptember 27, 2024David Shiffman
"Why Sustainable Seafood Matters" is now available for preorder! Here's what it's about, and why I decided to write it."Why Sustainable Seafood Matters" is now available for preorder! Here's what it's about, and why I decided to write it.June 8, 2026David Shiffman
Tackling the least important debate in deep-sea mining: the desultory hyphenTackling the least important debate in deep-sea mining: the desultory hyphenJune 8, 2026Andrew Thaler
What Ocean Ramsey does is not shark science or conservation: some brief thoughts on "the Shark Whisperer" documentaryWhat Ocean Ramsey does is not shark science or conservation: some brief thoughts on "the Shark Whisperer" documentaryJuly 2, 2025David Shiffman
Deep-sea Mining, Domestic Cats, Star Trek, and Ocean Exploration: Andrew's mid-year podcast round-up.Deep-sea Mining, Domestic Cats, Star Trek, and Ocean Exploration: Andrew's mid-year podcast round-up.June 6, 2026Andrew Thaler
The evolution of the International Whaling Commission – from  whaling quotas to whale conservationThe evolution of the International Whaling Commission – from  whaling quotas to whale conservationJune 10, 2026Chris Parsons
Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine is a fake documentaryShark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine is a fake documentaryAugust 10, 2014Michelle Jewell
Isn’t ironic, don’t you think: dismantling the Ocean Observatories Initiative on World Oceans DayIsn’t ironic, don’t you think: dismantling the Ocean Observatories Initiative on World Oceans DayJune 9, 2026Southern Fried Science
What is a Sand Shark?What is a Sand Shark?November 12, 2017Chuck Bangley
That's not a blobfish: Deep Sea Social Media is Flooded by AI SlopThat's not a blobfish: Deep Sea Social Media is Flooded by AI SlopDecember 19, 2025Andrew Thaler
Subscribe to our RSS Feed for updates whenever new articles are published.

We recommend Feedly for RSS management. It's like Google Reader, except it still exists.

Southern Fried Science

  • Home
  • About SFS
  • Authors
  • Support SFS


If you enjoy Southern Fried Science, consider contributing to our Patreon campaign.

Copyright © 2026 Southern Fried Science.

Theme: Oceanly Premium by ScriptsTown